Dieting is Bullshit

To a lot of people, dieting means putrid protein shakes, prepackaged meals that have under 500 calories, and more often than not, no food at all!

The thing is, your body needs food to live. There’s nothing wrong with a little detox from a yucky week/month/life…but you need to eat a) good food, b) enough food, and c) yummy food.


Tonight I steamed some kale for dinner because I needed something refreshing and light. If you don’t have a steamer basket, you absolutely must get one. I recommend a silicone one for easy clean-up. I topped my kale with sliced cucumber, cherry tomatoes, a little salt and pepper, and some lemon juice. No, there isn’t any protein in this meal. That is okay–the food pyramid is complete crap. Eat what your body needs at the time. And I did not need or want that coconut juice…tried it three times now, still gross.

This isn’t pizza or tacos or a burger, but cravings for unhealthful foods go away after a while once you get your body used to nutrients and vitamins. Kale has tons of vitamins C and K and manganese. Personally, I really like the taste, but if you’re not a huge fan, mix it with spinach or beet greens. You can also juice raw kale–add apple, pear, or pineapple for sweetness.

After your insanely healthy meal, please have a piece of dark chocolate. Or some dried apricots. Or dried apricots dipped in dark chocolate.


Lazy Sunday

June sucked. It was chaotic and disorganized. I was reaching for the end of the month by June 2nd. So, inspired by SNL and BFF (you see, I only consume media with acronym titles), I had my own Lazy Sunday.

With my tiny kitchen comes a small living space, but I invited 15 people and 10 or so made it. I was tickled pink because I love entertaining.

Originally (two days before) the plan was to do burgers or hot dogs on the outdoor grill, until I realized that I don’t have one. Sometimes I get lost in my head. Then (later that day) it became a vision of eating light, fresh bites by the pool, soaking up the sun…I even bought a pink pitcher for sangria! And I was going to make white sangria too! And a kiwi apple lime champagne monstrosity!

Then I saw the forecast. Yesterday I opened the blinds and saw that it was already raining. In Houston, rain is followed by a harrowing buzz, which is an ominous swarm of mosquitoes heading directly for you. And your flesh. Due to flying zombies and possible sporadic downpours and I guess the whole lightning striking the pool thing, the party was moved inside. So we spent a relaxed afternoon hanging out together playing Scrabble, talking, and most importantly, eating.

I wanted to make a whole mess of grilled things but that didn’t really pan out due to the rain and the fact that I didn’t start cooking until 1.5 hours before the party. That’s okay because it forces me to get creative for the coming week’s menu. And whatever produce I don’t use, I can juice.

Let’s get to the recipes. I didn’t take as many photos as I wanted because my phone was hooked up playing music.

Tequila Basil Lemonade

Muddle the leaves of an ounce of fresh basil and two quartered lemons, add a cup of simple syrup (1c of sugar dissolved in 1c of water, cooled), twoish cups of tequila, and twoish cups of lemon juice. The basil needs time to get into everything, so leave it alone for about 20 minutes.

Grilled Balsamic Tarragon Portobellos

Grilled Balsamic Tarragon Portobellos

Maybe it’s just me, but I think mushrooms have a certain sweetness about them. I have this fantasy about making a mushroom and/or onion dessert. For this, I dunked portobello slices in balsamic vinegar, sprinkled on some tarragon, and slapped them on the grill (dunked, slapped, this is all very active language…I feel like I should wear elbow pads). The photo is pre-grill, clearly.

Carrot Fries

Carrot Fries

I am in love with sweet potato fries, and we have a great relationship, but I definitely have entered into an affair with carrot fries. I tried to make this batch crispy by covering them in cornstarch before baking, but it didn’t work super well. I got a slight outside crisp but not the crunch I was looking for. Maybe I should have just left them raw 🙂 I shook them in a bag of cornstarch, coated with olive oil, and baked at 425F for 15-20 minutes. Probably should have turned them halfway through, but I was doing things like cleaning and showering while each batch was in the oven.

As far as stuff to dip them in, I mixed up a little red curry paste and honey. It reminds me of when I was a kid and ate chicken nuggets with honey, ketchup, and barbeque sauce mixed together.

Didn’t take a photo because they weren’t pretty, but I mixed up some minced jalapeno with ricotta, let it sit for about an hour in the fridge, then hollowed out some mutant-sized strawberries and stuffed them. Interesting, not the best thing but a solid idea. I think next time I will let the ricotta dry out a bit and dip the bottoms in really dark chocolate. Or maybe use chevre, which I am obsessed with. More on that later.

Miles brought potato salad, Amanda brought a fruit salad with lavender honey, and Rachel brought a Southwestern quinoa salad. All were fantastic.

Great friends & great food.

Why I shouldn’t have a food blog, and why I do

Hi, I’m Mari. At this point in my life I am a 21-year-old student, entrepreneur, writer, aspiring Jew, and general crazyface. When I am not foaming at the mouth from stress, I am putting delicious food into said mouth. Lots of things about food are just terribly interesting, from molecular gastronomy to the obesity epidemic to farming to food’s role in culture and so much more. You’ll read about all of that here, and there will even be pictures (and videos if I get really ambitious!)

Three reasons this blog is different:

-I adhere to Kashrut laws

-I cook in a teensy-weensy kitchen with a teensy-weensy oven. Organization gets interesting

-It is written in Houston, Texas, where lots of amazing food exists and for some reason people still eat fast food

So here’s me in my kitchen drinking $4 “champagne (because it’s not really champagne unless it is produced in the Champagne region of France undergoing special rules that have something to do with secondary fermentation)” See? My kitchen is tiny. I promise my face doesn’t actually look like that, but I can’t promise that I ever wear anything except black leggings.


So let’s cook.

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